Lately

I bought this necklace in a fit of sentimentality over the holidays. Dreams do come true, right? I've always been a person that believed in positive affirmations and the power they have in life. So I figured this would be a great reminder of what life holds for me.

Picture from Andrea Waines website

Well, I had been wearing the necklace constantly since I bought it. But things have been hard over here in the chimonkey brain. I've not had a lot of faith in myself or in life. I've been getting frustrated that things aren't going my way. It's really easy for me to fall into this tired frustrated place in the winter and that's exactly what's happened. Let's just say the whole equation results in a whole lot of crying because that's how frustration escapes my body - straight through the old eyeballs.

One day a couple weeks ago I got home from going out with friends and saw the necklace hanging around my neck in the mirror... and just got pissed. Dreams haven't been coming true, necklace! You freaking lie! I took the necklace off (being careful not to break it since I'm nothing if not frugal... I might want to wear it later you know) and threw it at the wall in our bedroom. It fell behind the nightstand and I went to sleep. I tried to wear it a few more times after that, but it mostly just reminds me of being frustrated and at the end of my rope.

For now the necklace is at home and maybe I'll wear it again someday. But until then I'm going to take some steps to make my life better. To do what I can to lift the crappy attitude I've had lately.

• I'm going to start going to Yoga a couple of times a week. Not this "power" yoga that is meant for cardio either. This will be a meditation/breathing/centering yoga. I figure I can fit it in at lunch once or twice a week and maybe once on the weekend. There is a good-looking Yoga Basics class at the FFC in the gold coast I totally want to try on Sundays also.
  
• I'm going to take that photography class. The class starts April 18th and goes for 7 weeks. I keep putting it off because there is always one class in the series that I would have to miss. I live a busy life, I need to get over it and finally take the class even if I have to miss one. I need to invest some time in myself and my interests, and this is going to be it.
  
• Take steps to mitigate stress in my life. I need to make sure I'm surrounded by people and situations that support me and don't add stress.
• I want to try and run a few times a week. I won't start this until after we get back from vacation because I have a sore throat and currently don't feel very well. And running just makes that worse for me! But I know running a few times a week will help center me.
• Try to eat healthier. This is going to include not noshing on so many sweets, swapping out Splenda for something more natural, and curbing consumption of alcohol. I'm toying with the idea of keeping wine but nixing beer and hard alcohol (I really don't drink much of the latter anyway). I'd really like to eat far more organic foods, but the price tag is a bit awful in the city. Once May-ish rolls around I have a membership in a CSA that will provide a box of organic vegetables a week that we're sharing with some friends, so that will get a bit easier.
  

So that's the deal. I've been feeling like crap, and not like my bubbly self lately. And I hate it. So I'm going to try and do something. Hopefully I'm not all talk and no action on this like I have been for the past 6 months. I guess putting it out here makes me a bit more accountable, eh?