Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Diary of a refinance

Fall 2008 - "Wow, mortgage rates are low! We should refinance!"

Mid December 2008 - Appraiser comes to our house. Spends 15 minutes there. Mike suggests later that we should have given him cash money to butter him up. Oh well.

12/29/2008 - Receive our appraisal. A cardboard box on an empty lot in this neighborhood would go for more. Are outraged.

January 2009 - Is spent arguing with bank regarding appraisal amount. We send neighbors's appraisal, which is MUCH higher for exact same unit. Send comps, which are much higher.

February 2009 - Finally realize that logic is failing when discussing with morons. Shake fist at sky, scream "WHY GOD WHY" and give up.

Summer 2009 - Hear about mythical Obamanomics refinancing aid.

Fall 2009 - Call Wells Fargo. Are told we are not eligible for new refi programs.

One week later - Receive letter from Wells Fargo saying we are eligible. Call again and get that ball rolling.

October 30, 2009 Appraisal #2 of the year. We give guy kit-kats to butter him up. Mike suggests later that we should have given him cash money to butter him up instead. What's with all the good ideas after the fact?

5 days later - Get appraisal back. It is a much better amount, allowing us to move forward with refinance.

November and December - Bug Wells fargo every three days. They slowly make their way through process. Obviously there is someone manually typing up each of the 500 mortgage pages somewhere. AFter that person makes a trip to the forest and physically cuts down the tree and makes the paper from scratch.

December 21 - Get call from Wells. Woman we were working with no longer works there. AWESOME! Rate lock ends on Jan 1st, so we have to close this thing and like NOW.

December 30 - Finally get draft settlement statement, which we have been begging for for a week. It is wrong. Of Course.

New Year's Eve - Dec 31, 2009 - Mobile Notary comes to our condo with correct papers and we sign the refinance papers. Mobile notary is very nice; likes beagles. Relief ensues that we got this done. A bottle of Chateu Coufran is opened. No payment in January and February WOOT!

January 4, 2010 - Wells Fargo takes mortgage payment out of our account for the mortgage we no longer have. *SIGH*