Another riveting conversation with my otolarynologist

Doc: So, are you feeling better?
Me: Um, I didn't feel the acid reflux to begin with.
Doc: But do you notice any difference?
Me: A little, I guess. I mean, I can tell when I forget to take it and I eat something bad.
Doc: Something bad?
Me: Yeah, mostly alchohol and pizza.
Doc: Didn't I give you the instruction sheet? You're not supposed to have alchohol, pizza, chocolate.... (he keeps blathering on this long list of things I love)
Me: Silent. Wondering if life is really worth living without pizza or chocolate.
Doc: So I'll have to give you that instruction sheet (as an aside, he forgot to give it to me AGAIN)
Me: OK
Doc: And maybe I'll switch your medication, too. So for this new medication, you have to take it approximately 30-60 minutes before a big meal.
Me: How big is "big"? I am trying not to eat big meals.
Doc: Well that's not healthy. You HAVE to eat big meals.
Me: Are you kidding? Everything I read says it is better to eat alot of smaller meals throughout the day.
Doc: Like what?
Me: I don't know, SELFL magazine, Women's Health, the Internets.
Doc: Oh, see, that's where you are going wrong.
Me: What?
Doc: You need to eat more than a CRACKER for a meal though.
Me: Seriously, I eat WAY more than a cracker (runs him through the meals..)
Doc: OK, well that is totally fine. You could have some salad and some fish.
Me: thinking that a salad and fish is not a "big" meal but whatever