May 5

Trying to put on a brave face before a 2 1/2 hour run

Tracy told me at dinner on Friday night that we graduated five years ago today (May 5). To me, it's kind of fitting that today I ran the mini-marathon. Both the college graduation and mini-marathon were pretty big accomplishments for me. I was the kid in high school that failed the President's Physical Challenge solely on my mile-time alone. I was the kid who didn't play any sports because I was so uncoordinated that anything I did would require hardcore practice to even be mediocre at. And I was way too ADD for hardcore practice on anything. I quit everything from piano lessons to softball and never looked back. I don't even really know if I was good at being social back then, which would mean I wasn't really good at anything except for the actual schoolwork. I look at my socialness as something I have gotten better at over time - if I can make people laugh then maybe they won't judge me based on my sports ability and awkwardness in some social situations. Failure and rejection is scary to everyone - and is the reason that I don't try and accomplish some of the things that I most want. I don't want to ever feel like that kid that didn't get into the National Honor Society even though she was ranked third in her class again. But to actually accomplish anything, I need to put myself out there. That is what I decided to do with this. As childhood issues go, mine are on the light side, I will admit. I have lived (and still do live!) a very charmed and blessed life. But the lack of athleticism is something I have wanted to improve for a long time.

So, today I ran my first real race, and did pretty well. I'm not too sore and just have one blister to show for it. My time was 2 hours 33 minutes and 24 seconds. That is a pace of 11:43 minute miles - my goal was anything under 12 minute miles. And I did it!

A pic of me crossing the finish line (that's me, with the big red arrow and circle!)